And Greta Makes Four

First it was the skinny jeans. I've been waiting ever so patiently for that stupid trend to run its course. Unless one has the legs of a praying mantis,  a tapered ankle does no one any favors.  My body, you see, was meant for wide flare jeans. Back in the day, when I was feeling particularly svelte or right after a bad bout of the stomach flu, I would even shimmy into a daring pair of bootcuts.  But the jegging? Hell to the no.

Now, as I online shop with a sleeping baby on my chest, I'm reminded of THIS year's stupidest new trend: the off-the-shoulder-shirt.  You've got to be freaking kidding me. The only thing wider than my hips are my shoulders. I'll be sure to pick up one of these blouses next time I'm going for the whole "I-belong-on-the-fifty-yard-line" look. I don't think I can properly relay my hatred for these neckless, shapeless blouses and this whole shoulder-cleavage movement. I can only hope that it passes by the time Greta is out of onesies.

You see, I gave birth to a mini-linebacker three weeks ago. My darling Greta Louise is once again the spitting image of her father (go figure).

Unfortunately, the good Lord decided to bless her with my shoulders. As she was making her grand entrance into the world, she went and found herself in a bit of a sticky situation (no pun intended). Her shoulder became stuck, and as a result, Greta's collarbone was fractured in the process of childbirth. Apparently this is a common complication for larger-than-average babies, though the nurses seemed surprised that it happened to her larger-than-average mother. 

By tucking her arm into her shirt or pinning her sleeve, the break should heal in no time.

Look at the size of that hand! 

Amelia was over-the-moon excited to welcome her little sister. (She wanted to take a picture of Greta to school so all her classmates could see, but she was  also very concerned they would think she was born with only one arm.) Unfortunately, all of the excitement and anxiousness soon turned to annoyance as she realized Greta was now a permanent fixture in our lives.

"I want Greta to go back to where she came from," she told me the other day.

"Back in my stomach?" I asked in response.

"No, to where she was before that," Amelia answered.

************************************************

The baby just blew out her diaper, so, uhhh,

Stay tuned....