Day One Recap

I'm thinking about signing up for childbirth again---it's got to be easier than this YMCA challenge. Everything hurts: my thighs, my toes, that area where they say my abs should be, my arms....my hair.

And the worst part of all of this? I still look the same. Yup, day one in the books and I'm not even supermodel status yet. The disappointment is real, folks. Our first workout started with a fifteen minute "warm-up" that was easily the highest my heart rate has been since the Britney Spears' concert I attended in 2015.

We did butt kicks (literally and figuratively) up and down the court. There was time on the track; sprints on the bike. We wrapped TRX bands around our feet and did some crazy acrobatic stuff. It was like Cirque De Soleil up in that gym. We did lunges upon lunges upon lunges. I'm fairly certain the Willis Tower has less flights of stairs than the ones we ran. Up and down, up and down. I took a few breaks in the corner when I saw the camera come around. No way was I going to let them catch my backside lumbering up those steps like Chewbacca. Nope, not today WSOY.

So here's my predicament: day two of the challenge begins in three hours, which would be great...if I could move. I'm walking with my knees locked as to avoid using my thighs. Sitting is the hardest, which ironically is usually my favorite position. We're required to drink 64 ounces of water a day per our nutrition requirements. Seriously? I howl every time I bend my knees to sit down and pee. That much fluid will be the end of me! I thought about adding extra salt to my food to dehydrate myself a bit, but that would put me over the ridiculously low sodium limit. 

I stopped at the gas station on the way to take Amelia to school yesterday. I opened my car door and my favorite chapstick fell out onto the ground. I painfully realized that in order to retrieve it, I would have to bend over. I stared at it for a moment and considered leaving it where it lie.  I stood there outside of Circle K pondering life and I asked myself, "Is it genuinely your favorite? Are chapped lips really that terrible?"

I solved my problem fairly quickly upon returning home while also hitting a new rock bottom. I dug through Greta's toy box until I discovered one of these:

Judge me if you will, but ain't no shame in my robot claw game.